Spreading love in a rough time

In the world of parenting a child with Autism it can be very intimidating. Just like any other place in this world people can be so harsh with their words. I remember when my husband and I first got the official diagnosis for our son. We had been stalling the idea for months and finally set the appointment to get him tested in November one month after he turned two. Once we got to this point in the process I took Brodyn by myself to the 3.5 hour test help in a room with a two way mirror and toys. My husband of course wanting to be there but he had to stay home and watch our youngest. As I watched them I cried inside (and out at some points) seeing my little baby boy cry and whine as they tried to asses his skill level. In my heart I knew when leaving that appointment that he would be diagnosed with Autism. The next month waiting for the official paperwork was just a formality and we held tight to our family.

In December when we sat down with the doctor to go over the results I figured I wouldn’t cry because I had already let it sink in. But I was wrong and as we sat the my husband and I and heard the hardest things we would have to hear I held his hand tight and cried. I cried to release my emotions, I cried to morn the plans I had for my child, I cried in relief to finally have the answers that would in return help our child, I cried!!

My husband and I didn’t tell everyone we knew for a good while. It was a process of slowly swallowing it little by little, and even to this day I feel like I have to let it in more and more everyday. First we told out siblings and parents, and I locked down my Facebook like Fort Knox. I wouldn’t even join a support group for Autism unless I knew that no one could see I was in it. But slowly we let it out more, we told our closest friends and extended family.

I don’t know when the day was that things changed but I do know that today is different. Today I am letting it all in. I tell people that my son has Autism but he is not Autism. He is the kindest sweetest little boy you will ever meet. He is loving and cuddly and if you ever have the honor of experiencing his love for yourself you will see how much of a blessing it is.

It can be so hard to enter in the world as a newly Autism mom. So many people have different views on the cause or the cure. And so many people have opinions on using Autistic vs. Child with Autism and some will go as far as to cut you down for your thoughts for words. It can be hard to put your words out there for fear of backlash. We are all trying to find our way in this, to find the best help for our child. So if you know someone in this situation please think twice before saying something that could make their lives harder. Or if you are just starting your journey with your child please feel free to contact me if you have questions or just need to talk to someone no judgement who knows what you are going through.

I can honestly say that I have two ladies that I have NEVER met that have been the greatest outside family support system. I met the First Lady on a nation wide autism support page and she doesn’t even live in the same state as me but has been a support system since the beginning. I could talk to her about my feelings and my son without judgment before I even told people. And the other lady is someone I talk to almost weekly that lives about 20 mins away and has helped me through the processes with paperwork and support for my son. So there are people out there that will be there for you, enough of them in fact that you can ignore the ones that aren’t.

I don’t know what the future holds for Brodyn only God knows that. But I know that I feel more comfortable in the decisions I have to make for him now. With the help and support of these friends I feel prepared better than before. You will never be 100% prepared in anything in life but if we focus on lifting each other up instead of picking at things that don’t matter we can all help each other survive. 💙💙💙💙

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