Is it just me who thinks that finding friends, like true friends, is super hard these days? When I think back to college, high school, junior high, ect. I think about the big groups of friends I had and how we were always doing something. I loved having a big group of people to surround myself with because there was always someone who could hangout on no notice.
Of course I know when you grow and get married and have kids it doesn’t stay this way, especially if you are military and moving around. But my husband and I have been military all our lives because all 4 of our parents were in at some point. And when we were growing up we remember our parents having those close friends that they got together with for cards, bbqs, and every holiday. It was nice for our parents to have couples with kids to hangout with so that us kids could play and they could get adult time.
So what has changed over the years? I personally think that relationships have gotten harder because of social media, busy schedules, and different views. So let’s talk the first one….. Social media can be amazing, I mean can you now picture a life without Facebook? It has evolved so much over the years that you pretty much can’t go without one. And I’m not talking like omg I can’t live without it, I’m saying like truly you need one for informational purposes. Every time I get sick of all the drama I say I’m going to stop Facebook, but I can’t. As a military spouse I use Facebook to keep up with my family when we are as far as Europe away from them. I use it for support groups for dealing with Autism parenting. I use it to learn about the new bases we move to and what there is to do and see. Companies advertise through Facebook, MLM companies thrive on Facebook, and the list goes on. So why can this be a bad thing? Well when people live on the computers, for one they aren’t living past that. And of course there is the false sense of life on there. Most people post what they want you to see, I mean why wouldn’t you, but that leaves others comparing and judging. When you care more about the number of friends you have on Facebook more that real life stuff it becomes a problem. People also have lost the way to communicate as well with each other. Things like break ups, I’m sorry, and happy birthday have become less personal. When you can drop a wall comment instead of a card is that what we want to be doing.
Then there are schedules. The average person is working longer hours, and doing more obligations than ever before. I mean when I was a kid I heard a lot of go play outside, but now people are starting kids at the age of two in dance, soccer, gymnastics, reading camps the list goes on. So no one has the time to stop by for coffee or come over for cards. And then there are people like me who have kids with special needs and literally have such a tight schedule that we are nonstop all day everyday.
And I think the one I struggle with the hardest is different views. Now let me say this so everyone knows….I pride myself on being an open minded nonjudgmental person. And I don’t just say that I live that. But when I was growing up if people had a difference of options they didn’t harp on each other until one person caved and switched sides. They didn’t do the passive aggressive posts on Facebook that makes the other person feel horrible. No instead they agreed to disagree or if they didn’t have anything nice to say they didn’t say anything. Now I love when people get passionate about their views and beliefs. I am so passionate about God, family, and awareness for Autism through education, but if people don’t belief what I do we can still be friends. However, I will not be friends with someone who wants to talk negatively about the things I believe in, if you don’t feel the same then let’s talk about things we agree on. I mean now a days people seem to have courage through online talking. They have this sense of power to say whatever they want from behind the screen but would never say it in person. There is a difference between spreading your knowledge in attempt to help someone understand you and bullying people to try and make them think like you.
And a big part of difference of opinion I feel is parenting tactics. My husband and I only want good wholesome people around our kids, but we also want well behaved kids. If I have to watch your kids like a hawk to insure they aren’t bullying my kids, well of course that won’t work.
I guess my point to all of this is that although it is truly hard to find friends that will help you, and lift you up in life, it is possible. And when you find those friends don’t take them for granted. Make sure you are giving as much as you are receiving. Make sure that you are being mindful of their feelings and making sure the relationship isn’t all about you.
We all need companionship through friends and it’s amazing when you find the perfect fit. But you can’t make it all about you and your needs. Spread the love♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️